I’ve been told I started at the piano at 3 1/2 or 4 years old. Probably my first memory regarding practice was playing each song three times, and then I was done. The first song I can remember is Old McDonald on the black keys. I think my first competition piece was Sleepy Alligator, and if I’m not mistaken, David Ho was competing too. Oh such were the days when there were no stakes and no such thing as stage fright. My first three piano teachers all shared the same first name Ruth. Then it was Ted, who ended up being my high school philosophy teacher and IB director.
We started Everett at around the same age, just after his fourth birthday, with Ms. Bev. It was great to have in person lessons because Ms. Bev had some fun percussion toys for rhythm, stickers, and it was a change of scene.
I would have liked to have Sierra do the same thing, but of course when she was the same age, COVID-19 hit so we weren’t going to other people’s houses. Everett continued on with Skype, and I decided to try getting Sierra started myself.
Sierra is a very different learner from Everett, less eager to please and more happy to do her own thing in many activities, not just piano. But I think she’s done pretty well in picking up some basics, especially with me teaching and trying to recall strategies I saw Ms. Bev do when I sat in on Everett’s lessons.
I’m definitely not a piano teacher, but as I mentioned before, the lesson books are much more interesting nowadays, and I think definitely make it easier with their musical characters, colorful pictures, writing exercises (Sierra’s favorite) and games.
For most children, I think learning and playing piano isn’t intuitively fun, and that’s why it ends up being a chore for parents to get their kids to practice and carry on to a more advanced level. I certainly remember that from my childhood. My mom told me that she always wished that she played piano but growing up in poverty never had the opportunity, so that desire was imposed on to my brother and I. We’d complain that she never understood what is was really like.
As a parent, I think one always wonders how hard you need or should push your child. Say the kid tell you they don’t like [piano/insert hobby here] and wants to quit. Does the child really know, and should the parent acquiesce? How many people have I heard say “I wish I didn’t quit piano so early”? Or should piano and music be framed as a broader and necessary education, like math and reading, along with all of its ancillary benefits like honing concentration, teaching discipline, sharpening coordination, expanding memory and time management? Do I tell Everett and Sierra, “No, you have to practice because this is your job, and it is something you must to do”?
Fortunately, the kids are little and they go to the keyboard spontaneously. Practice is light and easy and it seems the kids enjoy plunking on the piano. I don’t doubt however the bouts of resistance yet to come. In the meantime in contrast to my upbringing, I think it helps that:
- We have the piano (and other instruments) out in very conspicuous places.
- We listen to a variety of music routinely.
- I talk to the kids about music when I can (eg. a very good singer Michael Jackson died because he used drugs), comment on styles (of late, techno and dance due to the movie Trolls), tell them stories about composers (both dad and Everett are playing pieces by Tchaikovsky)
- I normalize playing music as I’m playing something much of the time.
I obviously come from a different perspective than my parents and so my motivations for Everett and Sierra to learn piano and music must be different. Yes, I want them to be more musically fluent than I, and I hope I would be able to guide them in ways that my parents were not able to. But musicality aside, I also want them to learn about perseverance, hard work, patience, longitudinal learning, and the satisfaction of achievement as they progress – probably the more important qualities.
