I got off work early, being an office day, and I went to pick up the Beans. This is usually the best part of the day, because the Beans are so glad to see me. Everett is more emphatic, but Sierra hobbles over too right behind Everett. “Daddy!” Everett exclaims, “You came to pick me up!” He gives me a big hug and then hurries to get his boots and coat on so he can get out of here!
It was still light out so we went to play at the park nearby. There’s a dragon toy at the playground so we call it Dinosaur Park. Everett catches Sierra as she comes to the bottom of the slide. We fly up into the sky riding of the swings. We play peekaboo with another kid, until she had to go. “Where did all my friends go?” Everett asks. We ride of the nose of the dragon. Sierra’s puffy clothes and booties are difficult to walk around in, so she mainly watches Everett’s antics. Mom drives by and sees us at the park and stops to play too.
When we are snuggling and talking about our day, I tell Everett that he looks after Sierra, and makes sure that no one at day home pushes Sierra. I tell him that he’s a good boy. Everett says, “When I am a good boy, I don’t have to go to day home any more.”
I can only imagine that this scene of a guilty feeling parent dropping off a toddler repeats itself numerous times a day everywhere. Certainly I remember my mom telling me about dropping me off at Red Deer day care, and I can vaguely remember that I would watch her from behind the chain link fence of the day care until the blue Impala station wagon drove out of sight.
I guess I don’t remember feeling particularly traumatized by the experience, as I think I just went off to play, just as Everett and Sierra do. I remember really enjoying being looked after by one of my parents’ friends when my friend Daniel was there too. When he wasn’t there, it was extremely boring. I think Candice’s day home might be extremely boring for Everett.
It is difficult to reconcile how much time to spend with the kids honestly. Spending too much time, 24/7, just becomes tedious. I don’t like parenting, and there is no time for myself. The kids whine all the time and that just drives you crazy. At the same time, they probably whine because I can’t provide that intense attention that they continuously crave. Then they get yelled at, and put in time out, and everyone feels badly. Sierra needed to be held all the time (less so now), and she is too young to understand.
Having this day home and working schedule, I look forward to picking up the kids. I really only get about three hours or so with them in the evening. Pick up, make and eat dinner, play for a little bit, bath time, read books, then snuggles and night night. The time spent together is higher in quality, but admittedly short. But I am not angry or upset. I also have weekends to look forward to, where I can spend the whole day with them (this weekend at least). We can add going out for breakfast, visiting grandparents or peh-gong and Benji, and throw swimming in there too. This weekend we have another birthday party! (Last weekend, we have 3 to go to!)
The three hours is probably a little short. I think more would be ideal, perhaps four or five. But too much doesn’t seem to work either.
Recently, I signed up for a finance group and a couple sailing groups on Facebook which has exacerbated my preoccupation for financial independence and long term cruising. I keep thinking about this as being a panacea for quality family time. At their age now, it is difficult, but I am predicting the tedium will diminish as they get older. I love pinching Sierra’s cheeks, but I enjoy Everett’s age more. I definitely like one year old Sierra more so than new born Sierra. They say one day of sailboat cruising with family is like 4 normal days in the 8-5 typical lifestyle, since you’re doing things together all the time. Hopefully it won’t drive us all crazy.
